The Space Left Behind

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about having lost all four parents. Our lives keep going and the world keeps turning but the space left behind by their loss is never filled. Sure, perhaps you reconcile the loss and eventually make your way through the grieving process and cycle, but the loss still remains. The loss will always remain.

For me it’s as if there are vacancies in my heart that still belong to them. And I don’t want to “fill” those vacancies with anything else. I want that space to be dedicated to their love and memories. I want that space to be available for those fleeting thoughts and emotions that come and go as life’s triggers drive them. I want the memories to know they have a place to call home anytime they want to visit.

I do however try to share that space with positive experiences and things that would make my parents proud. I let light in and I let happiness in, but little else. It’s still their space, but when their memories do come to visit, I want them to see and feel the warmth and positivity of a rich full life and maybe even comment that they like what I’ve done with the place. With their place.