Whatever Normalcy Is

I’m gradually realizing that I really don’t like the side effects associated with my treatment meds. Fatigue and shortness of breath with activity are not exactly conducive to supporting a running and multisport lifestyle. I know the effects from the treatment are temporary. And I’m thankful that they are indeed working. This is evidenced by the drastic reduction in size of many of my lymph nodes. But this is all coming with a price that I need to manage through. And today, that price seems expensive.

Yesterday’s “run” was dismal but I plodded through it in an effort to maintain some mobility. I’m keeping the bar low so I don’t disappoint myself. For now, I’ll be happy to move in any run/walk capacity I can. My plan is to talk to my doc on Monday about starting on some prednisone while I am going through treatment. Based on what I know about me, and about prednisone, this will significantly reduce some of the side effects and allow me to maintain some sense of normalcy. Whatever normalcy is.

I need to take progress one day and one treatment at a time because the other anomaly seems to be that my side effects aren’t consistent. Today may be completely different from yesterday which will be different from tomorrow. And before I know it, I’m back in for another round of treatment so all of the reactions and side effects start over. Will this be a pile on effect of new side effects joining forces with the residual? Or will I feel better by Monday’s next round and start fresh with new side effects?  OR might I tolerate this next round a little better because my body will begin to recognize the toxins and adapt where possible? I don’t know the answers to these questions and beyond posting them here, I won’t think about them. We’ll just have to wait and see.

For now, I’m just trying to take care of myself and remain in motion. I’ve convinced that running through, at, and over this is what’s best for me physically and emotionally.

Side note – this tingling and numbness in my hands and fingers is driving me nuts.

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