Net Impact Emmy Nod

By Steve | Published: August 15, 2012

I found out this morning that the feature story that Comcast Sportsnet did on me a few months back for their show Net Impact  has been nominated for an Emmy. That’s pretty cool news. Winners will be announced on September 22nd. Kudos to Gregg Murphy, Neal Slotkin, and everyone at Comcast Sportsnet who played a part in the production.

You can check it out again HERE.

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Round One Decision Goes to – ME

By Steve | Published: August 14, 2012

Today’s Rituxan infusion went off without a hitch. My favorite nurse took good care of me and we actually finished a little earlier than expected. Rituxan needs to be infused very slowly with me to avoid a number of negative reactions so i expected to be much later than we were. I am happy to report that all went well. I feel just a little beat up this evening but this should pass overnight.

So tomorrow, it’s back to normal and then we will square off for round two next Monday. The great news is that the first dose is always the toughest; so today was a big win.

More to come. Thanks for everyone’s support

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Hit Me Again

By Steve | Published: August 11, 2012

I had an appointment with my oncolodoc the other day. This one was at my request because some of my Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia symptoms that reappeared a few months ago and were previously tamed by the steroid decadron are back again. And we knew that the steroids would probably only be a temporary solution before we would need to call in some bigger guns and take a few doses of some chemo. We just weren’t sure how temporary.

So that’s where we are. We called in the big guns today. Starting next week, I will undergo 6 rounds of Rituxan.  (which technically is a monoclonal antibody and not a chemotherapy agent the way many people would envision. ) This is one of the “smart bombs” that kills only what it is supposed to kill. Depending on the result and my reaction, we may introduce a second drug after the first couple of treatments.

Although this may sound like a lot, I only need to go in once a week for 6 weeks so it should be only a VERY minor interruption of the rest of my life. I shouldn’t have any problem working and training through and around it.

Of course the very first dose of Rituxan can be a little tricky. I tend to have mild reactions to it until they work out all of the kinks with the premeds, IV drip rate, etc. But I will eventually settle in.

IMG_9200I’m not concerned about this, so neither should anyone else be. I will be very happy to put these symptoms to rest and move on. Besides, I had very good success with this treatment historically, so …….. there is no reason to expect anything but the same this time around. And once these rounds are done, I expect to be able to lock this thing away again for several more years.

I’ll keep everyone posted. You all know this disease is an open book with me in the hopes that others may learn a thing or two or perhaps even ease someone’s fear or anxiety. Hey, maybe I’ll even sneak out some good video or pictures from treatment. I’m sure that may drive the nurses a little nuts but…… I think I’m supposed to do that.

No worries, life is GREAT.  As for this gorgeous day? I am out the door and on my bike.

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What Say You?

By Steve | Published: July 24, 2012

I didn’t realize it but I guess I may take the ability to regurgitate written and verbal thoughts somewhat for granted. I recently realized that not everyone is comfortable with putting themselves out there for the world to see and possibly judge. Or for that matter, for yourself to judge. Often times there is an emotional fine line that can be difficult to cross. You can easily be torn between wanting to speak your peace and clear your mind but the thought of airing that laundry, be it clean or dirty, can be a little intimidating.

I have always found writing to be very therapeutic. For me it’s an opportunity to have that self dialogue and even self debate, while purging that thought and setting it free by the time I finish the piece. It can sometimes provide closure, or it can sometimes open up an onslaught of additional thoughts that I hadn’t bargained for.  But generally speaking, the “process” usually flows for me fairly well. And that certainly does not mean that I always love and approve of something that I’ve written once I have revisited it from a different mindset or perspective. I second guess myself all the time. But I also take comfort that at the time it was written, I probably said exactly what I was thinking…or something close.

So I will offer this advise to anyone out there with the slightest desire to say something. And I offer this not because I carry any writing credential or expertise, but because I know first hand how cleansing and rewarding the process can be. And my advice simply is; “Say It”. Whatever it is, uncork the creative juices and let the thoughts fly. If you are saying something from the heart that is genuine, it will not be negatively viewed. And you never know who you may help or inspire along the way.

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To My Lake Placid Ironman Friends

By Steve | Published: July 19, 2012

It’s time to stop thinking. Turn it off and allow yourself to absorb the entire experience like a sponge. Don’t second guess anything you have done to get there. Don’t second guess anything you didn’t do.

You have done what’s right.

Trust in yourself and all of the hard work that you put in. Don’t question whether or not you belong in the company of those athletes you are staring at in the village or those squeezing in their last training session.

You do. You probably belong there more than many of them do.

The work is done. Now you have earned the right to dance and party your way through 140.6 miles of life changing bliss and “discomfort”. Your entire day will be cyclical. Up one minute and a little down in the blink of an eye. Just understand that the rebound isn’t far behind the fall. And you WILL cross that finish line. And you WILL be an ironman.

Be proud but stay humble or so help me God I will personally hunt you down! ;)

Be safe, have fun, and THANK THE VOLUNTEERS.

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The On Cloudsurfer Running Shoe Hits the Mark

By Steve | Published: July 9, 2012

cloud smallI recently had the opportunity to check out the Cloudsurfer by the Swiss manufacturer On and am quite happy to report that this shoe delivered everything that it advertised – and quite more.  The On technology is simple yet cutting edge.  On embraces the natural or barefoot running principals that gives running back to your feet, but they do so in a way that doesn’t sacrifice comfort, protection, and performance.

The patented CloudTec™ system, comprised of three-dimensional elements or “clouds” made of highly flexible circular pieces of rubber, is at the heart of On’s active sole technology. The radically new design allows the sole to absorb both vertical and horizontal forces. Upon landing, these elements bend back and, with their inbuilt slight instability, they activate the body’s running muscles and its postural control and glide the foot smoothly into its step.

I took my Cloudsurfers out over a variety of distances, intensities, and even terrains and was impressed on all counts by both the performance and the comfort that this shoe delivered. This shoe is a lightweight, fast, responsive, and comfortable weapon to add to your arsenal. I even found myself wanting to slip them on and wear them around town – for the mere comfort factor alone.

On was co-founded by former world class triathlete and duathlete Olivier Bernard, who after leaving competitive racing with six ironman wins and three duathlon World Champion titles developed his first On prototype. Together with a team of scientists and dedicated runners, Bernard continues to redefine innovation and creativity with their technology and evolving product line.

 To learn more please visit www.on-running.com

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The Things I Wish I Were Told When I Was Diagnosed with Cancer

By Steve | Published: July 9, 2012

The following excerpt was borrowed from freelance writer and survivor Jeff Tomczek. It is a great read and one I felt I just had to share…

The Things I Wish I Were Told When I Was Diagnosed with Cancer

Your relationships are about to change. All of them. Some will get stronger. They will probably not be with the people you would expect. The people you want to handle this well might not be able to for a variety of reasons. Some of the reasons will be selfish. Some of them will be entirely innocent and circumstantial. All of them will be forgivable because no one plans for cancer. Carrying bitterness or anger won’t help your recovery. Fighting for anyone to stick with you won’t cure you. Those who can, will.

You will be determined to have more energy than you do. You will convince yourself that you are thinking straight, are able to handle all of this and do not need anyone. You will run out fuel. Your body will change first and your mind will follow. You won’t lose your mind, memories or sensibility. It will all come back. But, you will be different. You will never have the same sense of self. You should embrace this. Your old self was probably really great. Your transformed self will be even better. Give into what is happening and trust it.

You are going to feel fear. Even if you are normally stubborn, confident and seemingly invincible you will finally find yourself admitting that you are scared of something. Cancer is scary and incredibly confusing. The unknowing will eat at you worse than the disease itself. You’ll need distractions. Music and sleep will probably be the ones you resort to most. Reading will become difficult. So will watching TV or movies, having conversations, writing and basically everything else. They call it “chemo brain” for a reason. You will feel normal eventually. Just a new kind of normal. When you feel afraid let yourself lean on those around you. Cry. Be vulnerable. You are vulnerable. There will be time for strength, but never admitting weakness will cause anxiety to mount and your condition to worsen. Let it all out. Yell if you need to. Sing when you feel up to it. Sob uncontrollably. Apologize for your mood swings. Treatments and prescriptions will often be the cause of them. The people that love you will understand.

The people that love you will be just as scared as you are. Probably more. They will be worrying even when they are smiling. They will assume you are in more pain than you are. They will be thinking about you dying and preparing for life without you. They will go through a process that you will never understand just like they will never understand the process you are going through. Let them process. Forgive them when they don’t understand. Exercise patience when you can. Know that those that were built for this will be there when you get to the other side and you will all be able to laugh together again. You’ll cry together too. Then you’ll get to a place where you will just live in the world again together and that is when you know that you have beaten this.

The sooner you recognize that you are mortal, the sooner you can create the mentality for survival. There is a chance you might not make it. Just like there is a chance that you will. Don’t look at statistics. You are unique and what is happening inside you is unique. Your fight is yours alone and there are too many factors to compare yourself to others that have had your condition. No one will want you to think about death, but you won’t have a choice. You will think about it from the moment you are given your diagnosis. Come to terms with it. Calmly accept it. Then, shift every thought you have into believing that you won’t die. You are going to beat this. Your mental focus on that fact will be more powerful than any treatment you receive.

Your doctors and nurses will become your source of comfort. You will feel safe with them. If you do not feel safe with them you need to change your care provider immediately. There is no time to waste. This shouldn’t be a game played on anyone’s terms but yours. When you find the right caretakers you will know immediately. Do not let insurance, money or red tape prevent you from getting the treatment you deserve. This is your only shot. There is always a way. Find those hands that you trust your life in and willingly give it to them. They will quickly bring you a sense of calm. They will spend time answering your questions. There will be no stupid questions to them. They won’t do anything besides make you feel like you are the most important life that exists. They will never make you feel like they don’t have things in control. They will be honest and accessible at all times. They might even become your friends. You might celebrate with them over drinks months or years after they have cured you. They deserve your gratitude, respect and appreciation daily. If you get upset at them during treatment know that they’ll forgive you. They get that you’re going through something they can’t imagine- but they understand better than anyone. They see it every day and they choose to be there because they want to make the worst experience of your life more tolerable.

You will need to find balance after treatment. Start by seeking balance during treatment. Eat well. Sleep well. Listen to your body. Explore meditation. Experiment with new forms of exercise that aren’t so demanding. Embrace massage and other body therapies. Go to therapy. A therapist will be able to guide you through your journey in ways you could never fathom. Do not be too proud to speak to someone. You cannot afford to store up the intensity of the emotion that comes with fighting a life-threatening illness. Let it out for yourself. You will begin to hear your voice changing. That voice is who you are becoming in the face of mortality. Listen to that voice. It will be the purest, most authentic version of you that you have ever known. Bring that person into the world — strengths and vulnerabilities and everything between. Be that person forever.

You will inspire others. It will feel weird. People you haven’t spoken to since grade school will be in touch. Ex-girlfriends, former colleagues… even people you felt never wanted to talk to you again. The influx of interest in your seemingly fading life will be greater than any living moment you have ever experienced. That support is what will shift a fading life into a surviving one. Be grateful for every message. Be appreciative of each gift and each visit. There will be moments where all of this attention will make you feel lonelier than you have ever felt in your life. In a hospital room full of people with messages stuffing your inbox, voicemail and mailbox you will find yourself feeling completely alone. This is when you will realize that you could afford to have a stronger relationship with yourself. That only you walk this earth with 100% investment in you. Make the investment and use this as an opportunity to reexamine your self-worth. Love yourself more than ever and recognize how much love there is for you in the world. Then start sharing that love. You will come to see that even when you are the neediest person you know you can still be giving. Giving will make you feel better than taking.

When you get to the other side you won’t believe it. They will tell you the disease is gone. Everyone you know will rejoice and return back to their lives. You’ll constantly wonder if it is coming back. Slowly this feeling will fade, but cancer will always be a part of you. It will define how you see the world moving forward. You’re going to feel like the future is a funny thing to think about because the present is going to suddenly seem incredibly important. Keep moving. You’ll be more productive. You’ll understand who truly loves you because they will still be there. You’ll want to meet new people that connect to the newly evolved version of your old self. You’ll want to let go of those that don’t “get” who you are now. You’ll feel a little guilty doing it. Then, you’ll move on. You don’t have time to waste. The greatest gift you’ve been given is that you now understand that and you’re going to make the most of every second. You’re going to be the most passionate person you know going forward. Translate that passion to a greater purpose. Be fearless again.

I was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 27. Now 28, I have been told I have no trace of the disease in my body.

About Jeff Tomczek

Jeff is a freelance writer and the founder of C2Bseen LLC –- offering consulting services to niche brands & entrepreneurs. He is also working on launching an online men’s wellness community for young adults and a not-for-profit venture to assist cancer patients. Originally from Wisconsin, he resides in New York City and can be followed on Twitter @c2bseen or online at wordsworthsharing.com.

For more on cancer, click HERE .

For more on Jeff Tomczek, click HERE .

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Help Ethan Zohn and I Give AIDS/HIV the BOOT

By Steve | Published: June 27, 2012

I am again joining my good buddy Ethan Zohn to run the NYC marathon in support of Grassroot Soccer. This will be my 4th time back to NY in support of GRS. As many of you know, Ethan and I were introduced by a mutual friend because we are both blood cancer survivors as well as former soccer players – and goalkeepers. It’s been a great partnership and friendship as we have continued to support each other’s efforts and causes along the way.

We can’t do it without your help.

Please visit my Crowdrise site for complete details about Grassroot Soccer, our project, and instructions on how to donate by clicking HERE.

Or if you prefer, your tax deductible check can be made payable to “Grassroot Soccer” and mailed to:

Steve Brown

129 S. Keystone Ave

Upper Darby PA. 19082

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The 10 Laws of Newton Natural Running™

By Steve | Published: June 26, 2012
More from our friends at Newton Running…

1 – GET A PROPER FIT. Standing with your heels pulled to the back of your Newtons, you should have a thumb’s width in front of your longest toe. The ball of your foot should line up over the middle of the red actuator lugs.

2 -INSERT ORTHOTICS IF NEEDED. Newtons are not a substitute for custom orthotics. Remove the sockliner to accommodate your custom footbeds for the ultimate ride.

3 – PRACTICE GOOD FORM. Relax, lean slightly forward and shorten your stride. Your foot will naturally land on your midfoot at a point under your hips. Keep a high cadence and your stride length short. (Do not run on your toes.)

4 – Land-Lever-Lift. Good running technique is as simple as Land-Lever-Lift: Land quietly in an athletic position with each footstrike under your hips, allowing your heels to settle to the ground; Lever off the front of the lugs; Lift your knees (do not push off or pull back with the toes) to begin a new stride.

5 – ADAPT SLOWLY. To adapt to Newton’s Action/Reaction Technology™, start with short, slow runs (about a mile or so) a couple times a week for the first two weeks. Focus on good form and gradually increase your time and distance as your body feels ready. As with any sport, too much too fast can cause injury.

6 – REDUCE FRICTION. Landing heavy, braking on your heels, bounding on your forefoot and pushing off too hard with the toes all create friction. Excessive pounding creates more shock to your muscles, tendons, and bones. Land lightly and run smoothly and efficiently.

7 – LEARN FROM YOUR SHOES. Newtons wear like tires. The shoes act like a coach. By studying the friction wear patterns, you can learn how to adjust and improve your running form.

8 – KEEP THEM CLEAN. Hand wash with mild soap and air dry. Do not place in direct sunlight.

9 – STAY EDUCATED. Follow our website to keep updated on information, videos, tips and customer service. Share your stories and experiences on our blog.

10 – HAVE FUN!

For more, visit NewtonRunning.com.
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Hello Again Dex

By Steve | Published: June 26, 2012

OK, here we are. Day two of round four of decadron treatment. As with my previous treatments, I have all kinds of weird energy that I’m not sure how to control. One minute I want to start five projects at once (and I have) but a few minutes later, I’m annoyed, anxious, hungry, have a headache, and I start to crash a little. Didn’t sleep much Monday night. We’ll see what tonight brings.

But the bottom line is, the stuff is doing the trick. My CLL symptoms remain in safe check and we are finishing out this last round with the HOPE of not visiting this again in the near future. I will check in with the doc in mid July and then hopefully will be able to go back to semi annual blood checks.

In the meantime, I am shore bound next week for a little vacaton time. And this silly disease and all that comes with it will be the furthest thing from  my mind. My energy will be spent on enjoying life. With plenty of family and friends time, plenty of relaxing time, and plenty of training. If anyone is going to be down and wants to swim, bike, or run, drop me a line.

Posted in cancer, health & fitness, motivation, survivor | Comments closed
"Be the change you wish to see in the world " - Gandhi
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