I’m sad that this note is being sent after you have gone, but I think it’s important for both of us that I put this out there into the universe. We emailed pretty regularly over the course of more than a year …. probably closer to 18 months. I am told by Adam, Lauren, Dave, Karen, and your mom and dad that you always appreciated my words and found them inspiring. I’m told that you really looked forward to hearing from me and that I helped charge your naturally upbeat spirit. I hope that’s true. And for the record, you inspired me as well… more than I realized.
Part of me wants to apologize that I couldn’t say or do something more that could have changed the outcome. But I know you would hate anyone feeling that way, so I quickly dismiss that thought. I just hope I didn’t ever say anything that mislead you or gave you false hope. And I know I need to dismiss that thought too. You are just proof that cancer doesn’t play be any rules. It plays dirty. It tries to trick people into questioning their convictions. Cancer is a fork in the road for everyone. For those left behind, we pause and ask ourselves what we’re supposed to do.
Some people would throw in the towel and admit defeat because after all is said and done … after the treatments, and the medications, and the transplants, and the inspirational talks, you still had to go. But you didn’t surround yourself with just “some people”. You lived in a world with the kind of people that will forge on and never quit and keep moving until there is a cure for everybody. Your family and your friends will make sure that happens. You didn’t go home without purpose.
You will motivate. You will inspire greatness. You will be the driving force behind breakthroughs in research and advancements in treatments. You will be someone’s butterfly, and you will save lives. In speaking with your family last night, the ideas are already starting to churn in terms of ways to raise awareness and make a difference in your name and in your honor. And my promise to you, and your family, is that I will help with any of those causes in any way I can.
I guess that’s it for now. Thank you for allowing me into your circle. You have a very special family that I am honored to know them.
Your fellow leukemia warrior … for the cure …